Dealing With Tantrums

Hi, happy new month to everyone. Summer is here once again and the little ones are stuck with their parents; some wishing to resume as early as possible thanks to their parents. Watching parents flog their children everyday without understanding or trying to understand these young ones inclined me to research and post a few tips on how to deal with children when they refuse to listen nor obey to your commands. Hope you find the few steps recommended in this post useful.

It is a common occurrence in our society to see a mother berate or scold her two-year-old child and when he starts crying she shouts at him, "C'mon, shut up…can't you hear me?" together with two or three spanks she says " I said shut up, shut up, shut up, oya hold your  lips, I don’t want to hear anything again…mtssscheww! Nonsense. O ni pa mi (you will not kill me)".

Sometimes, the parent need not scold a child before he starts screaming, stomping and thrashing about. The next move of a typical african parent is to spank the child until he "shuts up and hold his lips" If you are guilty of such crime, have you ever stopped to wander what could be wrong with your child. Is he trying to tell you something? What happens when a two-year old starts jumping about screaming and throwing a terrible tantrum. Is the solution a spank or a drive to a psychiatric hospital (preferably Yaba left)?




Well, it's none of the above. The first thing to do is to discover the reason behind such maniac behaviour exhibited by a little child. Think about the change that a child experiences at about age two. From the time he was born, he was given so much attention. His parents would always carry him, cuddle him and feed him. In fact, they gave him whatever he wanted. At about age two, however, a child begins to realize that his parents give him less attention and they cater for him less and less. Instead of their serving his needs, they expect him to comply with their wishes. The tables have turned and a two-year-old may not take well to the change without protest-perhaps in form of a tantrum.




In such situations, the best thing to do is:






1. Be understanding. Your child is not a miniature adult. Try to be in his shoes and see the situation through his eyes.


2. Stay Calm:  When your child is having a tantrum, losing your temper will not help neither will the koboko technique. Loosing your temper Ignore the tantrum and react matter-of-factly. After series of trial, he would give up.


3. Hold your ground: if you give in to whatever it is your child is demanding, he will likely throw another tantrum the next time he wants something. Calmly show your child that you mean what you say.




 

Optionally,




1. When the tantrum begins, hold your child in your arms (if possible) and without, hurting him, restrict him from thrashing about. Do not shout at your child. Eventually, he will realize that the tantrums has got him nowhere. He will probably pass out and fall in a deep sleep.


2. Designate an area where you can put your child when he has a tantrum. Tell him that he may come out when he has calmed down, and then leave him there.


3. IF your child has a tantrum in public, remove him from the view of others. Do not give in just because he is making a spectacle. That will only leave your child with the message that by throwing a tantrum, he can get whatever he wants.


IF you apply these principles properly and consistently, however, the tantrums will likely diminish.


The principle discussed apply to both gender.

If you have more useful tips, please don't hesitate to share them. Thanks.